Day 107: A Tribute

“Have you heard about ___?” - my friend of almost 3 decades texted.

The stomach drop.

My response: “No, what’s going on?”

“She’s in hospice.”

This was about our supervisor at the second company we worked at together.

I started at that company after he’d been there a couple years and another close friend started to work there. They had culture before culture was even a thing. Their benefits package was insane with 4 weeks vacation, great insurance for $109 a month plus there was no travel required. And, they allowed employees in certain positions to telework from home after a year grace period.

I knew that if newly married Ryan and I were to have a baby, i’d need to find something more stable than the sales role I had at my friends parents tech company.

After a telephone interview and group interview I got the job. I was enamored with the company. They had very structured training. A quiet room with bean bags. Open concept with the CEO and his Vice behind a glass wall right when you got off the elevator. At 3 pm snacks were put out and there was always free drinks. The departments were encouraged to work together through many company sponsored activities.

My friend and I were both in the same position (you know, the one that could telework after a year) but had different team leads. Above the team leads there were 3 supervisors. And then a director above those 3. I was fortunate enough to be under Stacy.

Part of our training with this company was to always feel empowered that we would be able to help the client completely. Escalating a call up to your team lead or supervisor was very highly discouraged. Naturally there were very seldom times that someone would become so irate and irrational that escalating had to happen. The few times during my tenure that I had to do that, Stacy was so accommodating and gracious.

I got pregnant and a couple months before popping had to have a very candid talk with Stacy. I said that with the income Ryan and I had we wouldn’t be able to afford the type of childcare we found appropriate. I would either need to leave the company or we would have to figure something out. I asked if I could work from home. She said yes and shared that I would have to sign documentation stating that childcare was provided for my child during my working hours. That made total sense.

I can’t recall if it was her or me who came up with the idea of a compressed work schedule. Because of Ryan's position, he got to schedule his own hours. He would have Friday’s off and work Saturdays. We came up with him working Saturday and Sunday while having Monday and Friday off. I would work 10 hours on those days. Then Tuesday, Wedn and Thurs he wouldn’t go in until the afternoon and I would have a sitter come for a few hours until I got off work.

It really was the most perfect scenario we could have ever had. My baby’s sitter was a mom of 4 and she would usually just nap with the little guy. She would also sing to him and give him baby massages. He had really bad reflux and her massages helped him with spitting up and constipation. She would also give me advice in a non judgmental way. The going rate back then was $30/hour. Which I gladly paid. I interviewed a handful of people and was getting desperate.

Any chance I had to tell Stacy how appreciative my family was, I would. The first time I told her she seemed surprised. She was a mom and she had the authority to help me as a new mom so she did. She helped so many of the moms on our staff. We had a couple single moms and she was always so gracious.

During our text exchange my friend told me that her husband's contact info was provided for any messages to get to her. I sent him a message and he said he would read it to her. In the message I also commended him on reaching out to her network to give us the opportunity to say thank you and goodbye.

Isn’t that just a testament to the way she lived? Instead of pulling an Irish goodbye or quickly and quietly exciting this earth, she (or the husband…not sure who instigated it) had the foresight to give this gift to everyone in her life. It’s so beautiful isn’t it? And I think a lot of people don’t give notice when they can because maybe they didn’t care about people or help people like Stacy did.

I think about how sad it would have been to get a text, or see on Facebook, that she had passed. But now, I know that she’s being enveloped in such a loving embrace by all those whose lives she touched.

God bless Stacy and all the women like her who make workplaces friendly for mothers. She’s a freaking legend and I know was a major contributor in the possibility for me to have a way less chaotic return to work postpartum. Which greatly benefited my husband, my baby, and our entire family.