Day 163: Three Ladies, 3 Different Scenarios
2 folks told me today about ways they were audacious.
One of them was about a play date that was prescheduled. She had to cancel because her kids were getting a little spicy. She felt bad in the moment canceling but after, felt good for sticking up for herself. I told her in that scenario you always have to make decisions based on the kids. Because if they’re acting scratchy from the start, it’s going to get hella worse. IYKYK. It’s so hard scheduling stuff as a parent. It’s even harder having something scheduled, sticking to it and your kids spinning out. It brings out the worst in everyone. I tried my best to opt for what would not turn tired kids into tyrrants. Sure it sucks not getting to do what you want. But, again, it’s way better than the alternative.
The other act of audacity was popping off on her boss and peer who she was presenting to. There were a couple interruptions and questions for clarity and the presenter said, paraphrasing, “you know so much about it, you tell me.”. Oh. This is tricky and I wouldn’t ever recommend speaking to your supervisors, owner of the company, or even a peer, in a demeaning way that makes them feel like a reprimanded child. The repercussions can be very significant. If this has been an ongoing source of contention I would have prefaced the presentation with, “I think you’ll find I’ll answer all of your questions throughout the presentation. If something comes up, please make a note of it and then once I get to a good stopping point, you can ask.”. I don’t think people are intentionally disruptive, I think they are worried that if they miss something early on…they wont understand anything. Plus it’s work. They’ve probably got a ton of other things ping ponging around in their brains and are trying to assimilate.
In both situations there were multiple people whose expectations weren’t met. The friend who had a play date canceled at the last minute, the boss who got talked down to, the presenter who felt interrupted, the person who couldn’t keep the commitment because of her kids. It sucks.
We all want “easy”. We want no chaos and no interruptions. We want to control the situation and the results.
That doesn’t work.
One other conversation from today. I was talking to a food and beverage director about events and projects and timelines. A self professed Type A professional she told me early in her career a mentor told her, “You have to be comfortable walking into a dark room.”. I immediately responded, “yea, I’ll walk into a dark room but not without a loaded gun first.”. The whole table laughed.
The loaded gun is a metaphor for all of the tricks we have up our sleeves. Those scripts we practice when a similar situation keeps arising. The muscle memory that comes from handling high maintenance clients. The faith and self trust that we know what’s best. Because we do. Those in events know that nothing is life or death, but it feels like that to the host.
Maybe I should have said flash light, not loaded gun. hahaha…
