Day 23: Stuck in the Past?

One of the things that held me back from writing, and ever trying comedy, is the feelings I got when I read other people share intimate stories about their family.

I remember reading an actor’s memoir and the way she talked about her famous sister and mother broke my heart a bit. Sure she was just sharing her personal experience, but at what cost. Causing current pain to people who had hurt her in the past feels cruel.

I think when readers are privy to the perception of an author it can create an undoing of all the good that’s been done since then. It leaves a stain.

And I would never want that for any of my family.

I also don’t want to promote toxic positivity but I believe that if you have done the self work and healing, you can neutralize situations from your past and see them as points along the path of where you are now.

One of my favorite quotes from Jen Sincero’s “You are a Bad Ass”* is “It’s not your fault if your parents fucked you up, but it’s fault if you stay fucked up.”.

That gets me every time!

Our environments and the people we were surrounded by at an early age 100% have an influence in who we become. But, and this is a big but, we have the ability to create our own realities once we have removed ourselves from a negative environment.

Is it quick, no. Easy, no. Confusing, yes. Frustrating, yep.

But it is so worth it.

When you have negative patterns in your life, and know they are rooted from your upbringing, start providing for yourself what past you needed. Is it nurturing? Routine and stability? Healthy foods? Walks? Positive input like music, TV, books, theater, arts, etc? Financial security through saving or investing?

Google or YouTube “Inner Child” work. I’m not super familiar with it but have heard a bit about it in my spiritual development studies. It can be very impactful for others and one practice I did from Louise Hayes book “You Can Heal Your Life”* really helped me a lot when I did it, and to this day when I think about it.

Take ownership of your present and future. You can’t control the past besides attempting to neutralize the feelings and charge around what happened with you.

Do the inner work and it will benefit current day you and future you.

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