Day 57: Comparison and Healing Yourself

I started to write a different post but it came off as disparaging. It was about a local woman who I follow who has young kids and is in the thick of it. She works full time for a corporation from home in an executive position.

Today the 15 year old was home sick and both boys were home yesterday for Veterans day. He’ll be home tomorrow too because he’s still not well.

This lady came to mind because for me to feel overwhelmed and discombobulated with a 15 yo when there are mom’s of toddlers who are doing the most, makes me feel lame.

Comparison doesn’t feel good but I still do it. When I feel bad about what seems like my inability to cope with disruptions it’s usually because I see other people just carrying on.

“Why can’t I be like that?”

Immediately my brain starts talking shit about other people:

Well, you wouldn’t want to be like other people because the fact that they aren’t undone means they don’t love their kids as much as you do.

They wouldn’t have to function at that level if they lived within their means.

The ability to disassociate and carry on is a disservice to their mental health and they’ll pay for it with burn out.

It’s mean and not true but it’s my brains way of trying to make me feel like I’m a great and diligent mother.

Playing The Untethered Soul helped some with remembering to relax and release.

About an hour after the kid woke up I started to feel the familiar tickle in my mouth that means sickness is on it’s way.

That didn’t work well with my schedule for tomorrow so I decided to heal myself with my mind. Hahaha. I know it sounds insane but it’s something I believe. The first time I told my husband (he was my bf at the time) to just heal himself with his mind I could tell his was questioning his decision to be with me.

Anywho, from when I was 6 or 8 I would think “mind over matter. mind over matter.”

Part of the book says to keep your heart open. Closing off your heart and “absorbing” emotion around negative experiences solidifies it more.

So, the tickle started and I grabbed the dogs leashes. We started to walk and I made sure to stay in the sunshine. I had music playing in my headphones. It was the usual playlist and then I thought, I need to play Frozen by Madonna. It’s like the freaking lyrics were written after reading the portion about the heart in the Untethered Soul.

The kid wanted chicken tenders and I decided I should get some hot and sour soup from my go to veg restaurant. Every time I have congestion issues I get it and it helps.

When I got home and started to eat it, it was too spicy. I’m not getting sick! Magic!