Day 6: How to Have Will Power
I’ve been blessed. Don’t hate. Because what I have in will power I very severely lack in discipline.
What’s the difference you ask? Will power is the elimination where discipline is the addition. Or, at least that’s what it is in my mind.
Picture it, early 2000’s: I’m sitting on my best friend’s bed wasted beyond belief. We both were. She lights up and says, “Ive always admired that you can just quit anything. You have the strongest will power.”.
She was talking about our incoherent state and the fact that I didn’t have the urge to light up. I had quit smoking for the 5th time in so many years.
I didn’t want to talk about quitting smoking because I had finally learned that the more attention you put on quitting something, the more energy you focus on it.
When eliminating it’s best to distract yourself as opposed to harp on it. Especially if what you are quitting has addictive qualities. Yep, I’m talking: nicotine, booze, drugs, mobile devices, people, sex, porn, TV, adoration, etc. Basically anything that gives you withdrawals if you previously got a fix, or even numbing out, from it.
This, my friends, is where people with ADHD can really thrive. Our ability to change focus (or not even keep focus to begin with) on a dime is a blessing when it comes to elimination. I would be remiss if I didn’t also address that hyper-fixation could also be a huge detriment to my neurospicy brethren if the fixation of the deletion played a loop over and over in their brains.
Back to my bf’s bed. She wants to get into it. “Seriously Marcia, how do you do it? How are you able to JUST stop, and stick with it.”. In my drunken stupor I try to impart on her my newfound wisdom about not focusing on what’s been quit.
I point at her and say, “Listen to me. This is important! It takes 3 days for your body to detox the substance. After that, it’s just a mind game. Your body no longer craves it, YOUR BRAIN DOES!”.
And that, my friend, is how I’ve been able to quit everything I’ve wanted to.
Now going back to addictions … that’s a subject for another day. I want to leave you with this quote my HerHideaways co-founder told me, “It’s easier to avoid something 100% than 98%”. And THAT, is the absolute truth.
If something is no longer serving you, or worse, making your life bleak or unhealthy: get rid of it, distract yourself, and never return to it. Life will always be full of challenges and if we can learn to cope with those challenges in ways that don’t disrupt our physiology, we will be more physically and emotionally strong.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I’m writing this 22 days into my second annual Sober September. When my youngest was 2 I quit drinking and didn’t start back for a decade. 100% was easier than 98%. And by 98%, I mean probably 50%. Anywho, we’ll see what the future holds, but I do find writing to be more beneficial for popping off dopamine than drinking.
