Day 22: Dining Out

What are your thoughts about having real conversations within earshot of other people?

I had brunch today with a former member of my first society.

She reached out to me late January expressing gratitude for the community I had previously built.

Since 45 had been in office a few days as 47 I think she reached out to me because she remembered our recurring monthly meeting in my home the day after he got elected the first time.

We set up a coffee date for mid February. It was a very in-depth conversation.

Today we met up again at a quaint little restaurant that I’ve been to before. It was kind of drizzly so we sat inside. The restaurant had multiple rooms with just a couple or few tables per room.

Moments after we sit down a man in his early 60’s sat a few feet from us.

Cool cool cool.

He’s directly behind my friend so she can’t see him. But I can.

We continue to talk and don’t hold anything back.

We deep dive into mental health and family.

Guy leaves and a couple in their late 50’s / early 60’s are seated at the same table.

The conversation has moved onto my friend saying she’s heard a few people talk about moving internationally.

Side note: if you’re new here, I live 15 miles outside of Washington DC. Things are kind of high strung in our area. It’s literally a vibe. I used to travel for one of my sales positions and it blew my mind how different areas of the US could have such a different vibe. Me saying that our neighborhood is high strung doesn’t negate what’s happening anywhere else in the US. I’m sure there are many other places that are really struggling right now, too.

Ok, back to the convo. She genuinely seemed surprised that people she knows have started to learn the process of moving abroad. I told her I know multiple people who are also exploring it as an option.

We then started talking about the conditioning that happens in the US (maybe it also happens in other countries) about the importance of living near hospitals and clinics.

When working for the luxury builder last year I took a 4 week long course on home building. One of the things shared is that developers base where they buy and build on a few factors. Proximity to hospitals, airports, and schools.

Again, I’d like to know the statistics on other countries: but being “too far” from emergency healthcare seems like a widely American held fear.

That led to talks about our food system and the mental health numbers.

What has been done to our soil with GMO’s and environment with factory farming is reprehensible. I told her about the first time I learned about Monsanto and GMO’s (my kids were 2 and 4) and how I sat on my couch crying for a few hours. That was before Sandy Hook and so many other really bad tragedies we’ve had that have also left me in a puddled mess.

And this isn’t a political post about the bullshittery that is happening now with this administration. It’s research and beliefs I’ve held for many many years when common sense told me that the physical and mental health of people in this land might be impacted by what is put into their bodies and minds.

Oof, it’s way harder to write about this than have a conversation. Cause words can be minced when read right?

I’m going to wrap it up awkwardly because it’s 7 pm and we have a baseball game tonight (yay baseball in the fall!).

The couple that came in after single guy, they kept having pauses and the man would look over at me. I don’t want to feel bad for having conversations in public but I also tell myself “these lovely people might be out celebrating something important.” or maybe "they only get one meal out a week and have to hear real talk”.

It’s always a bunch of stories I make up that end with me being the asshole.

But my friend doesn’t think I’m an asshole.

And our conversation was energizing and enlightening.

I know I’m overthinking it and that my sit down and shut up trigger is being flicked. It still sucks though. The urge to not disrupt is strong.

I think the only regret I would have had though would be steering our conversation towards mundane dumb shit. That always feels like a waste of time, especially when with someone open to deep talks.