Day 69: Unattachment with Perceptions
No two people will ever perceive the exact same thing the same way. Because there will always be influence from each individual’s life that leads to their interpretation.
This goes for how people perceive art, work, products, other people, relationships.
We’re all going around with very different brains that have been developed by our unique environments and experiences.
Even coming from the same family there are mixed beliefs about how things were due to shifts in personal circumstances and values.
One can never truly know what shapes someone else until they’ve been in that exact situation. And that’s impossible. There’s no way to go back in time and replicate. Instead, people pull from their personal experiences to try and understand. Or maybe they don’t even try to understand. They just assume it to be a certain way.
Judgments are made based on the model they think others should live by.
When it comes to how they are being perceived, they think “this dude’s got it all wrong. I’m not like that.”. Or, they think others are assuming the worst in them. Because that’s how they act.
My mom raised us to consider that there was more than meets the eye. If someone cut her off in traffic she would say, “Maybe they’re rushing a sick kid off to the hospital.”. I can’t think of any other examples currently but there was always that undertone from her that you never know what someone else is going through. Which is a good way to live. Full disclosure: it’s a good way to live as long as you aren’t being treated like a door mat. So I guess this rule applies more for strangers than people who you know and who may use manipulation or push boundaries.
Over the past few months, I think it was after an epiphany on my way to a Charmed Cardinals Reunion, I realized that I spent way too much time and energy coming up with people’s stories in my mind.
When engaging I would get the birds eye view and then my creative mind would fill in the rest. I noticed I was giving people way more energy than I should have.
“I hope she gets the contract because she knows more than me and will do a better job.”
“Both of the guys who stood me up for business meetings did so because they’re sexist.”
“This vendor doesn’t care about our business because they can’t seem to get their shit together.”
A lot of overthinking and perceiving that I knew the answers when who knew what was actually going on.
I’m trying to do less of these things. Less judging, over thinking, time and energy spent spinning out.
More flow, more ease, more openness and willingness to be gracious and unattached.
