Day 114: Violence Begets Violence
I asked my guys if they saw the video of the woman in Minnesota yesterday. One said “Yes, it was everywhere. There was no way to not see it.”. The other one said, “I didn’t.”.
I shared with them that there were a few times news sources I get information from shared the video but had disclaimers. So I didn’t look. I didn’t see George Floyd’s murder. I didn’t watch when Saddam was executed. Seeing that type of violence, that is actual real life, I believe is not something our psyche’s should experience.
These types of images stick with me. They reek havoc on my nervous system. It can turn into many nights of horrible sleep. A nervous system buzzing. Teeth grinding. Headaches. Doom scrolling.
I want to make a formal announcement that just because you don’t watch this brutal violence unfold doesn’t mean you are complicit.
At some point last year I decided enough was enough. While I didn’t retreat fully into a cave, I did accept my fate that my role here on earth is to ignite others. Not to reverse, process, or try to make sense of how bad people end up in charge and horrible things keep happening.
My energy will be best spent focusing on the good leaders who are putting beauty into the world. Because beauty causes movement while hate causes contraction.
And while I wont be engaging my psyche in watching videos of life leaving ones body, if I were in a situation where someone was being brutally attacked or killed, I would take video of it. For evidence. So that the authorities could investigate it. Maybe I would share it with some of the news sources that I follow. Because we are in a day and age now where there is no trust.
The details reported on this poor woman’s death proves that the ICE agent was at fault. He should have never brandished his weapon. Or shot her in cold blood. But he did. And now the United States President and Vice President are gaslighting what many people saw. From so many different angles.
There is no more trust in our authority figures.
Or maybe MAGA has more trust than ever. Because “TRUMP IS DOING WHAT HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO DO!”. And, “while I don’t always agree with the way he does things, he does get things done.”. But at what cost. It’s fucking gross and reminds me of when abused spouses say, “he doesn’t mean to do it. And besides the occasional physical abuse he’s a great dad/husband/etc.”. People will say, “she shouldn’t stay.” “it’s her choice.”. Ok, well lets look at Americans who are being abused by their government.
I wonder if his supporters are still good despite someone being murdered on the street. What if it was their mother, sister, wife, daughter? But they think, that would never happen: they’re all here legally. They would have followed the rules. They wouldn’t have agitated the patrol. Or maybe they dont give any thought at all to anyone but themselves and their golden ruler.
The day before this happened was the 5th anniversary of the Capitol takeover. Trump loyalists ransacked barricades, tore up the building, and beat police. I found out yesterday that one died shortly after and 4 more have died by suicide. All of the criminals from that day were pardoned as one of the first acts of the president. Gross.
I spoke candidly to my husband last summer about where I think our country’s future is headed. And it is ugly. This administration is only going to get more desperate with the failing acceptance numbers. Plus the economy suffering from soured relationships with lots of different nations. While I don’t think what happened in Minnesota was a premeditated act, they sure do like taking peoples attention off of other irreparable harms they are committing (Venezuela, Greenland, NATO).
