Day 154: Boundaries for Busy Women

Stop allowing people to pile more work on you. And for God’s sake, especially if it’s not aligned with your job or mission in life.

Sure, we can validate reasons why we should just do it:

• there’s no one else who can help

• I’ve done something similar so there isn’t much of a learning curve

• it’s only temporary so I can get back to my regular workload after

Do I fully grasp and understand the ick that happens when we have to uphold our boundaries? 100%

And I hate to admit it but sometimes even the toughest and most boundaried bosses still get duped. Unfortunately I think it’s part of our societal norms. Lean on the strong ones.

“Oh just ask Amelia, she always helps with that”

“I’m sure Kelly wont mind taking care of that”

“Lisa is a wizard at finding time and making things work, just ask her to do it”

Those are the really tricky ones. When someone sends a henchman in to dupe you on their behalf.

When you run into a situation like this again I want you to pause, take a breath and say, “I’m unable to take that on”. That’s it. You don’t have to offer up a reason. The more you talk, the more the requestor thinks it’s an opportunity to help you troubleshoot your current load.

It is so much easier to stop it at the start. Instead of committing, or leaning into the extra work, and then letting it fester until you figure out a way to remove yourself (or actually complete the job).

I want better for you. I want better for us. Just because you are good at getting shit done and you are super intelligent doesn’t mean you should be unfairly treated.

More work, more pay. Or…more work, more time off. They can choose the compensation. That is ONLY if you have the capacity though.

I want to very firmly remind you that every extra yes (or ummmm, ok… I guess) you say is a big fat no to your loved ones, hobbies, community, and peace.