Day 17: Not Sharing Everything

Staring at the blank page before me…

did you sing that? I did.

I had a couple ideas of what to write about this morning but they were too personal and I just wrote for myself.

Maybe that’s what I’ll talk to you about.

The compound effect | exposure therapy | practice makes progress.

That's what I’m doing here with this blogging for at least 365 days stint. A daily practice to help me access and make sense of my internal thoughts by externalizing words.

It’s working well. I don’t hesitate to write to myself which then provides immediate relief.

I know many artists. They have to create or the light dims.

Creation is fuel.

Not doing it starts to make everything cold and time feel like a slog.

Creativity and curiosity lead to growth and self actualization.

Day-to-day leads to dimness.

What isn’t growing is dying.

I think writing is my creative outlet but have had mystics tell me it’s other modalities. I really like sketching and painting. But I need to be led which is distracting for me. It’s hard for me to be fully present with myself when others are around. Which is likely common for everyone.

Writing now feels strained and like a loop that wont be closed. Writing to myself earlier today was very enlightening. I unlocked something in my brain that has held me back for decades. Literally couldn’t tell you what it is now, but I know I tapped into something powerful that will need to be revisited again and again. I’ve scratched the service on it (being acknowledged) before but this morning was different.