Day 48: Resentment is a Superpower

Do you ever get to the point of resentment in your relationships?

With your spouse, kids, siblings, parents, clients, coworkers, boss, friends, etc.

Usually when it gets to full blown resentment it’s because you have been hiding your true feelings or making your needs secondary for far too long.

I’ve been making my family members food more often lately. Sure it’s to save money but I haven’t felt resentful for doing it as I have in the past.

In the past I had to do it. But now that the boys are older, they can make their own food. Since I no longer feel underappreciated or dependent on, it makes doing things for the family so much less full of friction. Also helping was the knowledge of ADHD and how monotonous activities (with no end ever in site: ie, every domestic chore) requires an insane amount of energy.

On the professional side, my first society burned down because I got too resentful of members accessibility to me. The resentment was such a layered process that I dissected which resulted in creating a lot of resources about boundaries, including a group program. That was late 2019, early 2020.

Talking to you about people pleasing yesterday got me thinking more about the subject today.

I mentioned that some people pleasers I know aren’t happy with their situation. Not all of them though. I know other people pleasers who are extremely happy with their ability to live an altruistic existence. Serving others and being helpful.

The difference between the two groups is definitely resentment.

Once it starts to creep in, if you don’t get a leash on it… chances of a burn out or a complete freak out are really high.

If you find yourself feeling pulled too thin, start saying no. It doesn’t mean, no not ever, it means not now. Believing that being overloaded wont effect how you show up in other aspects of your life is off base. If you look at your current commitments and feel overwhelmed, for God’s sake don’t agree to anything else. Especially when we are heading into the holiday season. And if possible, see if you can get out of a couple things that aren’t in alignment.

When it comes to disappointing anyone, always opt to have you disappointing yourself last.