Day 59: The Power of the Pause

I haven’t heard back from the prospect call yesterday with the list of expectations.

The length of time that has passed has further confirmed in my mind that it wouldn’t be a good fit.

Do you get yourself into negative situations by convincing yourself that what your gut is telling you isnt true?

Or maybe you’ve forgotten that everything in life is a choice. You think life is just one thing after the next and there’s no way to design it. It’s happening to you, not for you.

If that’s the case, something that has helped me lately is, prior to anything I feel nervous or uneasy about, reminding myself that whatever is meant to be, will be.

Some might call it faith.

Carin and I talked about this in one of our first podcast episodes of the season. About how we have both taken on client work that wasn't a good fit. Either because of the tasks at hand, compensation, or personality differences. When there isn’t alignment, the emotional and mental toll can really derail many parts of your work (and sometimes life). You can unintentionally sabotage your marketing efforts to prevent getting more clients. Or completely change the way you do business. The stress from the unaligned client work can cause you not to be the best version of you with your family or friends. There’s a whole slew of things that can happen.

While rereading Florence Scovel Shinn’s book, The Game of Life and How to Play It, on average 5 mornings a week since I discovered it in November one of the teachings that “there is a divine design for each persons life” has continuously grounded me. And helped with going into each encounter with expectancy of it working out as it should for my best benefit.

The lessons are getting harder to see if I’m serious about letting my life play out as it should. Even after all my spidey senses going off during the prospect call I still sent a follow up email. And was eager to get the list of expectations so I could submit the proposal. Despite knowing it wouldn’t be a good fit. It was just those damn synergies. What were they pointing towards?

It was the same thing with the conference contract. It really felt meant to be.

I do feel a lot of peace inside now but there’s also that tiny devil on my shoulder who keeps saying I didn’t try hard enough. Or that I’m not trying hard enough to get more work. The truth is with those past 2 roles, the time and energy exchange would have interfered with my bandwidth for Carin and my next phase.

Whoever said you can’t have fear and faith at the same time was an idiot. Jk…but, I am having a hard time.