Day 156: Maybe Your History Can Help?

Yesterday I shared on my Instagram story a screenshot of one of the sections of my upcoming Audacity Announcements newsletter.

It was a memory I had of my first legit big girl job (besides being a full-time bank teller). I was a federal employee in a Department of Defense Agency. I had to have been 20 or 21, I was at the agency for 5-7 years which is why I don’t remember my exact age.

Anywho, I made a very audacious move back then by asking our office’s chief when we would get our bonuses. I had very important things I wanted to buy. Like a trip to see my bestie in San Diego. Oh, I was 21.

He had been the chief for a couple months and the previous chief had given us bonuses so I just assumed we would get one. I mean, I had access to the budget but maybe he hadn’t looked at it yet?

Rehashing that memory in my upcoming newsletter had a couple other buried memories come to the surface.

Not great ones. Ones where I shrunk because my self-esteem had taken a beating. I had the sexy job title. I knew how to do the job. But blow after blow kept happening and instead of sticking up for myself, I let it shrink me. More and more until I had to get out of there. It happened at 2 places. One was a director role and one was a VP role. Similar situations with one common denominator. Me. Sure there were supervisors who did shady shit but that’s how they got to where they were. It wasn’t personal. And with each scenario that happened I could have straightened my spine and stood taller. But, it felt hopeless. Having been a leader and solo, trying to navigate and process teams was A LOT.

So I lost my audacity.

In my youth and before becoming a mom laid off from a job while pregnant with my second son I had accidental audacity. I was confident, probably still a bit inebriated from the night before, but I spoke my mind. I had rapport and I had questions. So I asked them. Naturally as I aged and experienced different environments my questions evolved. But, I was audacious.

Maybe you were too? You may be in a similar situation where your mission, values, or vision for your life has changed. And the professional portion of your life hasn’t caught up. Which makes you feel like you are floundering. You’re not. You just need some reminders.

Can you take some time over the next day or weekend to think back to when you surprised yourself? When you asked for what you needed or wanted. And freaking got it! I know you have some stories. You don’t reach a certain level of success without making some very bold and audacious moves.

If you feel like you are shrinking or not standing as tall as you should be, we’re going to get you there. Stay tuned because the amount of synchronicities and creativity I’m having are parallel to none in the past. And I’ve done some pretty cool shit. This is going to be better. And bigger. And bolder. LFG!