Day 76: Forging Adult Friendships
Dinner tonight with my mentor! I met this firecracker at a chamber event a few years back. I was working as a fundraising event director for a non-profit and really connected with this executive director.
We met when she was a couple tables down from me at the Halloween festival. The ED of the Chamber told me this lady was someone I would want to meet with so I introduced myself to her on her way out. She gave me her card and the rest is herstory!
I sent an email and she invited me to visit her office. We talked for hours about fundraising events. She co-founded her non-profit 20 years ago and has been the main operator for quite some time now… maybe over a decade. Get this though, she started it when she retired from a career in our local government. At age 55! She’s raised millions for animals and been a huge supporter of one of our local shelters. Now you understand why I call her a firecracker.
We had been lunching quarterly, or twice a year, but have since moved to evenings. We did a happy hour in October and made plans then for dinner at a local Italian place tonight after we both gushed over our separate trips to Italy.
It’s wild to me when I hear people say it’s hard to make friends as an adult. Sure it can be clunky but some of the best relationships I’ve made have been completely random. I truly think it’s as easy as meeting someone, getting a good vibe from them, then asking for coffee or lunch. While Evelyn started out as a mentor, I think the relationship has evolved to friend. Sure she still gives me advice for my agency and how to serve non-profits, but that’s not the bulk of what we have going on. We talk about our families, work, technology, current events, and so much more.
She actually reminds me a lot of my little sister who also doesn’t have kids. They are both about 5’2, 115 lbs but could bully a 7’ tatted up guy. These gals are fearless. I’m sure that fearlessness comes from doing what they love and being really damn good at it. Which gives me hope for myself! That I can keep gaining more and more confidence by writing daily and embracing expressing myself.
Back to friendships as an adult. I’ve had some duds. When that happens, I recommend doing the slow distancing. There was one woman in particular that would shit talk her husband, clients, and people she worked with. It didn’t start out that way but after a couple encounters she really let loose. From there the texts were responded to much later, the schedule got too full to hang out, and finally she found someone else to dine with.
Don’t let the fear of clingers or energy vampires scare you from finding your Evelyns.
