Day 97: Young Love

My sons girlfriend made him a very thoughtful gift. She’s really good at gift giving. It shows she listens to him. Being thoughtful in that way is one of my values so for him to find a partner who also cares deeply makes me so happy.

I kind of always knew it would be important that my kids find good partners but I didn’t have a lot of mental drama around it. Until my son dated a few girls that were not a good fit.

Teenage girls are difficult. I can say that because I was one and because I was a sibling to 3 former teenage girls.

This generation with social media takes it to a new level. But my kid found a girl who isn’t dramatic. She has her own life and doesn’t keep him from having his own. It really is the best relationship I could have wished for him.

I think we all just want our loved ones to be with people who will respect them and make them happy. Not someone who plays games and gets caught up in “what a relationship is supposed to be”. The illusion or appearance of a perfect relationship.

My son has talked to me about his friends relationships. He’s wanted a females perspective. We’ve always had a very communicative relationship. I try to impart on him what I can in a diplomatic way.

But what it boils down to is basically: is the person’s life better or worse with the girlfriend in it?

By the time you are a teenager your identity is kind of set. You may be a striver, drifter, attention seeking, timid or outgoing person. But the writing is kind of on the wall based in part on the persons upbringing.

So if there are issues early on and they keep repeating, it’s going to continue happening. The person who feels upset or taken advantage of has to address this feeling and attempt to work through it or the problem will persist.

Relationships are tricky. But luckily my guy found a gal who is comfortable in her skin, likes alone time and doesn’t spend her time with people she doesn’t like. They fit well together and it makes my heart happy.